How long did I stop blogging?
because of I had found someone that I can tell everything to.
and yeah there's no need for me to type me out now.
but what if it changes
and I'm now crawling back here
and write about how I feel and shit
Figuring out shits by my own
Yes I've started college.
I'm happy about that for some reason
and hating it

I hate that I have to wake up early in the morning
I hate that my best friend isn't in the same school with me anymore
I hate that people here are not saying what's is it from their heart
I hate that every morning I open my closet I have no idea what I want to wear
I hate the food here
I hate changes

I do love where I don't have to stay at the same class all day long
and we have breaks in between so I don't fall asleep
I love that we don't have to wear ugly uniform to class anymore
I love how we can sit where ever we want in class

I hate more about this life more than I love it.

I lost count of how many times I have played the song Breathe by Taylor Swift
or when was the last time I crawl under my blanket and cry while listening to emotional songs
I don't wanna put on a fake smile everytime I'm sad anymore
I don't wanna pretend.
But who cares.
I don't wanna be a laughing stalk.
Crying alone in your room
with no one knows
and just wipe of the tears and act as if nothing has ever happen

So I've tried to make people here like me better.
Things I couldn't do
Things I shouldn't say
and just keep that in mind
where every word and every movement will make someone hate you
and I hate that..
I hate where people hates me
I couldn't take it

How I miss the time where I am in secondary school.
Now watching those happy little bastard visting my college
I'm totally jealous.

Yeah totally out of order? what am I saying right now?
I have no idea. Whatsoever that have pop out of my mind?
Promises.
The word that I fear the most and even hate it the most
When people usually said that they promise.
When so ever did they ever meant it?
I mean some do it just for comforting someone.
But what if they break a promise?
will that be comforting or just making things worst?

What I hate about this school
The food sucks.
The design isn't that good.
Well the flooring prolly sucks the most
I mean they spend 450mil for this.
and what spend too much on a stupid lake?
where they should spend better time giving us a better flooring
like eg. the stairs
cemented. not to mention cracks?
and the class room.
they don't even have enough money to cover the ugly cemented ceiling..
Gosh..
And the food.. is so bad..
and not to mention expensive.
Now that makes me wonder where did they spend all those 450mil ?
Lake? then I must say taylor is pretty stupid.

Yes ! Today will be the first day of my college life..
AND YESHU.... is 5.20am in the morning..
I haven't sleep yet..
Is not that I don't want to sleep..
I couldn't !..
I try changing my sleep position for like 20 times!
went to the toilet for like 3 times...
and went online with my ipod to bug my friends..
or just call them.
Gosh... at 5am I finally give up trying..
Imma just online and go find something to do..
I'm too exicted maybe?
This is how I get..
When I'm too excited.. I can't sleep..
Arhhh...
Raccoon eyes q_q..
I'm sure.. when I get home this afternoon
Imma go bath and just sleep...
and I know I will be nervous on the way to campus >_>
Okay.. seriously VAL CHILL !
is just college !!
I seriously need coffee..
Or else in the middle of the orientation imma fall asleep.

My bro wasn't really happy about me going KL and study
He said my mom would be very busy if I'm there.
Cause since my dad would still be in Malacca.
and there would be no one to clean the house or wash his clothes
if my mom is in KL..
Well I told my mom I could take care of myself
of course my word doesn't convince her..
She always treat me like a baby >_>
Every night she'll bring a cup of water for me
and would shout at me / Text me / call me
to go drink water.. I know..
I hate drinking water >_>
But yeah she's been doing that since I was young..
Well I told her
" I know you're worried about me couldn't take care of myself...
Well maybe is time for me to learn to take care of myself... "
She didnt say anything but still I know she's still wasn't up for that.
Then she said.. what about the house.. and your clothes
who's gonna wash it for you..
Mhmmm Yeah I never do house work before like ever..
There were times when our maid stop working for us
and we were waiting for the new one to come..
I wash my own clothes..
and GOSH I almost die doing that..
Yeah was so fucking exhausted..
and I remember asking my friend..
" Hey how the hell do you wash clothes "
Then she told me and I just follow what she told me..
and after washing my own clothes for the first time
LOL I called my mom and told her..
and she was doubting me...
" Are you sure is clean..? "
I was like wth XDDDD
But yeah I told her she wouldnt have to be coming up kl that often
maybe twice a week I said..
Gosh is so much easier to talk to her when she's listening.
Maybe I never mention..
She doesn't let me drive alone.
I argued with her alot of times because of that..
still giving the same reason every single time I ask her just to trust me for once
" There's so many cars around... is very dangerous etc. etc. "
Then I told her..
If you miss me we can talk on skype etc..
then she scold me " Siao.. " XD

Mhmm how do end this..
Mom stop worrying about me!..
I wonder why though..
My bro was there alone studying last time
and she wasn't that worry about him..
Okay maybe cause I'm a girl?
Well that sure makes sense >_>